Monday, April 29, 2013

time for change

it's done. over. and the timing couldn't be any better because, frankly, i'm over it

it's been great, don't get me wrong. being the voice of a student population, so to speak. and though i hate to admit it, i wasn't shit when i started compared to where i am at now, even though i thought i was. not like i'm really all that far along anyways. but that's kinda necessary. isn't it? fake it til you make it, right?

well that's what i have been doing for a long time now. starting to feel like i am going to be in fake it mode for the foreseeable future. not like it stops me. from doing it. loving it. living it. all day erryday.

really though, it's time to stop the fake out. time to bring it in. get serious. put all that living to work for me and make it pay. so i am gonna start something fresh here, like i halfheartedly began to do last fall, before i let the effort fall with the leaves and hibernate. 

had to go fallow.

but i'm back. talking. writing. thinking for myself. thinking from my own perspective, unclouded by the responsibilities that go along with having to think for other people on a day-in-day-out, week-after-week basis. 

i'm not sure how this is going to go. or what i will be writing. but i am going to be out there, in the real world, living, seeing things worth seeing that you might miss. and i'm going to talk about them. how they make me feel. what they make me think. and maybe more importantly, what they say about real life from my point of view.

well, i don't want to ramble too much. so instead of doing that, i will stop now, leaving you with a poem i wrote on the train yesterday while coming home from a pleasantly short day on campus.

it's called, "the nothing"

it doesnt even matter if people
hear you here
talking to yourself
cursing the wind
howling into the nothing
because no one listens

a casual glance
inquisitively wrinkled forehead
self-righteous smirk
is all you will garner

from a crowd of selves
sifting stoically
through the rubble
and ash
and steam
of each their own
great and horrible
chaotic nothings.