Saturday, February 6, 2010

hey, man

i spend a lot of my life being the lower case i version of myself.  I'm passively aggressive, and overly confrontational in all the wrong ways.  i'm a liar.  i cut corners sometimes.  I don't respect the opinions of those around me, and this is even true in my own home.  i'm rude when I drive a lot of the time.  I feel like what I'm doing is so important that I don't give other people the respect and space that they need to accomplish what it is that is important to them.  I feign interest in things I have no intention in supporting.

The list goes on.

And on.

and on

On with it, though.  If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.  How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

you gotta eat what is in front of you.  clean your plate and then worry about the dishes.

So let me clean my plate.  let me say something that can make this place better, kinder, gentler, more loving.

I want to be a real man, and not just a poser.  I'm not one to start a fight, but I'm not going to be one to pussy foot around the elephant in the room, either.  i can't allow myself to be the type of person that just let's everything be.  let it be, let it be, oh let it be.  Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

but I can't.  I've got to agitate. aggravate.  elevate.  i'm a social dingle berry.  not quite climbing but holding on for dear life to the pubic hairs of success.  i'm flailing and gnashing at the other berries and i'm trying to be the highlander too much.  i could stand to learn a lot from Iceland, with their egalitarian mindset and community based thinking.

And my values are unachievably high.  Despite the worst of myself that I am, i am a great person.  I have worth and value.  feelings.  emotional and irrational thoughts.  cloudy days.

it's people like you who actually care enough about some one other than yourself to read a blog that has nothing to do with your life (though that's not exactly true in the end i hope you see the point i am illustrating by stating it) that have inspired the next song I will post on my blog.

this is an old one, and in fact it is the first recording of me playing an electric guitar in existence.  A good friend of mine, Kristy recorded this for the price of a pack of smokes to help me get some music out there and to get some experience as an engineer.  She's really good at what she does, and I've always loved this song and the recording of it.

I'll post the words below so you can read them as it plays.  I give you "hey, man" and dedicate it to you as well.

hey, man

so many people come and go
some like to move real fast and
some like to take it slow

with all circumstances
shuffling us around
i've gotta tell ya man
it's so good to hear that sound

and you'd look so cool
in a kaleidoscope
how i wish that i could
see ya that way right now

but it's good to see you
either way
it's good to know that
you are still around


  1. ah, but it does...

    there is always the option to not eat your meat and not eat your pudding. it is only a paradox when you try to hold onto both of the conflicting desires. let them both go and the possibilities are endless...

  2. nice. thanks father conrad. geez, having you around is like living with my own personal gandolf. and you know, it wouldn't be so hard to not eat the meat and pudding if i wasn't so damn hungry all the time.

  3. yeah, that i understand. but i think some of what you are talking about is not like real food. you need food to live, but some of what you are talking about is not essential for living. it is luxury, not necessity. i think recognizing that as a fact changes the dynamic of your relationship to it... you do it because you want to, not because you have to.

  4. this conversation would only be cooler if we were sitting around a hookah.

  5. wow,
    "Hot Potatoe"
    is exactly what Im going through right now, uggg, anyhow I'm really feeling your music!

  6. nacoel,

    thanks so much for the positive feedback! I'll be making music till the day i die, so if you want a hard copy just send me an email with your mailing address and I'll send it to you!