i spend a lot of my life being the lower case i version of myself. I'm passively aggressive, and overly confrontational in all the wrong ways. i'm a liar. i cut corners sometimes. I don't respect the opinions of those around me, and this is even true in my own home. i'm rude when I drive a lot of the time. I feel like what I'm doing is so important that I don't give other people the respect and space that they need to accomplish what it is that is important to them. I feign interest in things I have no intention in supporting.
The list goes on.
On with it, though. If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
you gotta eat what is in front of you. clean your plate and then worry about the dishes.
So let me clean my plate. let me say something that can make this place better, kinder, gentler, more loving.
I want to be a real man, and not just a poser. I'm not one to start a fight, but I'm not going to be one to pussy foot around the elephant in the room, either. i can't allow myself to be the type of person that just let's everything be. let it be, let it be, oh let it be. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
but I can't. I've got to agitate. aggravate. elevate. i'm a social dingle berry. not quite climbing but holding on for dear life to the pubic hairs of success. i'm flailing and gnashing at the other berries and i'm trying to be the highlander too much. i could stand to learn a lot from Iceland, with their egalitarian mindset and community based thinking.
And my values are unachievably high. Despite the worst of myself that I am, i am a great person. I have worth and value. feelings. emotional and irrational thoughts. cloudy days.
it's people like you who actually care enough about some one other than yourself to read a blog that has nothing to do with your life (though that's not exactly true in the end i hope you see the point i am illustrating by stating it) that have inspired the next song I will post on my blog.
this is an old one, and in fact it is the first recording of me playing an electric guitar in existence. A good friend of mine, Kristy recorded this for the price of a pack of smokes to help me get some music out there and to get some experience as an engineer. She's really good at what she does, and I've always loved this song and the recording of it.
I'll post the words below so you can read them as it plays. I give you "hey, man" and dedicate it to you as well.
so many people come and go
some like to move real fast and
some like to take it slow
with all circumstances
shuffling us around
i've gotta tell ya man
it's so good to hear that sound
and you'd look so cool
in a kaleidoscope
how i wish that i could
see ya that way right now
but it's good to see you
it's good to know that
you are still around